why can't you stomach it?
by Lea-Lupin
Summary: Song fic Basically it's just songs that I've changed the lyrics to, to sute the Marauders
1. 5,6,7,8

5, 6, 7, 8 ( Original Version by Steps)  
  
All: It's time to begin now count it in... 5, 6, 7, 8.  
  
Paddy: My wand's scooting' baby is driven' me crazy, my obsession for a wizard- my boogie buddy mate,  
  
Prongs: My wizard Romeo, my witch Juliet, wanna make you mine...  
  
Paddy & Moony: Ha ha ha, Prongs has got a girlfriend!!!!  
  
Prongs: I do not erm, Now get in line 5, 6, 7, 8.  
  
Moony: Toe tapping', hand clapping', finger licking', foot kicking', erm, erm, what's my line? Paddy? Prongs?  
  
Prongs: Little wizard  
  
Wormtail: Big blizzard!  
  
Moony: Cast a spell, and eat my dust!  
  
Prongs: Pumpkin juice and lots of lust  
  
Wormtail: Slidin', glidin', here we go.  
  
Prongs: My wizard's scootin' baby, it's drivin' me crazy, my obsession for a new broom, my boogie buddy mate  
  
Moony: My witch Juliet, my wizard Romeo...  
  
Prongs: Ha ha ha Moony has a girlfriend! (no-one laughs, only Prongs, can you see the tumble weed?)  
  
Paddy: It's a stag! It's a stag! A stag Moony, a stag.  
  
Moony: Wanna make you mine so get in line 5, 6, 7, 8.  
  
Wormtail: No I am not a supporter of Voldermort .  
  
Voldermort: Right, say that one more time and my snake will eat you.  
  
Prongs, Moony & Paddy: Huh?  
  
Paddy: Tush pushin', paddy footin', hip twistin, no resistin', Star sailin', owl mailin'  
  
Moony: Cast a spell and eat my dust  
  
Prongs: Polyjuice potion and lots of lust.  
  
Wormtail: Let's begin the dance again.  
  
All: My broom's scootin' is drivin' me crazy, my obsession for wizard my boogie buddy mate. My wizard Romeo, my witch Juliet, wanna make you mine now get in line, 5, 6, 7, 8.  
  
Paddy: You're mine all mine now Mister Stag.  
  
Moony: Gonna rope you in- so count me in 5, 6, 7, 8.  
  
Wormtail: Right how much do I owe you? Galleons right?  
  
Prongs: Yeah and don't fool us with any of that Leprechaun gold stuff 'cause I can tell, I'm not stupid seriously.  
  
(Paddy smacks Prongs around the head.)  
  
Prongs: OWWWWW!!!! What was that for? Jeez!  
  
Moony: Hand it over then Jackass.  
  
(Wormtail hands ten galleons to Moony.)  
  
Prongs: What's it for anyway?  
  
Wormtail (Pointing to Moony and Paddy): They made me sing.  
  
Paddy to Moony: How's the bunny?  
  
Moony: Too stepped out to mention. 


	2. Where ever you will go

Where ever you will go (Origional version by The Calling)  
  
Sirius: So lately, been wondering  
  
Remus: Who will be there to take my place  
  
James: When I'm gone you'll need the sun to light the shadows on your face  
  
Remus: If a great moon should fall and fall upon us all  
  
Sirius: Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own?  
  
All: If we could, then we would,  
We'll go where no-one's gone before  
Way up high or down low  
We'll go where no-one's gone before  
  
James: And maybe we'll find out  
  
Sirius: A way to make it back someday  
  
Remus: To watch you, to guide you  
  
James: Through the darkest of your days  
  
Remus: If a great moon should fall, and fall upon us all  
  
Sirius: Then I hope there's someone out there  
  
James: Who can bring us back to Earth  
  
All: If we could, then we would  
We'll go where no-one's gone before  
Way up high or down low  
We'll go where no-one's gone before  
  
Remus: Run away with a wolf  
  
James: Run away with a stag  
  
Sirius: Run away with a dog  
  
James: I know now, just quite how,  
  
Remus: My life and moon, my still go wolf!  
  
Sirius: In your heart, in your mind  
  
James: I'll stay a stag for all of time. 


	3. Our House

Our House (Origionl version by Madness)  
  
Remus: Father wears his Sundy best  
  
James: Mother's hungry, I think I'll cook!  
  
Sirius: The dog is playing up downstirs  
  
James: Remus's sighs in his sleep  
  
Remus: James's got a date with Lily  
  
Sirius: He can't hang around  
  
All: Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmaede  
Hogwarts, just right by  
Hogwarts it has a croud  
There's always lessons going on  
It's usually quite loud  
  
James: My mum she's so proud of me!  
  
Remus: Nothing ever speeds her up.  
  
Sirius: And a mess is not allowed  
  
All: Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmaede  
Hogwarts, just right by  
Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmaede  
(Something tells you that you've got to get away from here)  
Hogwarts, just right by  
  
Remus: Father gets up late for work  
  
James: Mother has to shop for clothes  
  
Sirius: Then she sends us of to school  
  
Remus: Sees us of with a small hug  
  
James: She's the one I'm going to miss, in lots of ways  
  
All: Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmeade  
Hogwarts, just right by  
  
Sirius: Remember way back then  
  
Remus: When everything was false?  
  
James: And when we would have  
  
Sirius: Lots of Quidditch practice?  
  
Remus: Such a great time  
  
Sirius: Such a crappy time  
  
Remus: And remember how we'd laugh?  
  
James: Simply play practical jokes?  
  
Sirius: Then we'd say nothing  
  
Remus: Would come between us?  
  
James: Four dreamers  
  
All: Hogwarts it has a croud  
There's always something going on  
And it's usually quite loud  
  
James: My mum's so proud of me!  
  
Remus: Nothing ever speeds her up!  
  
Sirius: And a mess is not allowed  
  
All: Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmeade  
Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmeade  
Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmeade  
Hogwarts, just right by  
Hogwarts was our castle and our keep  
Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmeade  
We used to sleep  
Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmeade  
Hogwarts, just right by Hogsmede  
Hogwarts, just right by 


	4. House of fun

House of Fun (Origional version by Madness)  
  
Sirius: Good mornin' Professor, can I help your daughter?  
  
James: Fifteen today and up for fun  
  
Remus: I'm a big boy now, or so they say  
  
Sirius: So if you'll serve I'll be on my way  
  
Remus: Box of stink bombs, with the perfect stink  
  
James: Pack of fake tattoos, that do not come off  
  
Sirius: A two pack of Butterbeer and a rubber chicken  
  
Remus: Professor Sprout on the corners has just walked in  
  
James: Welcome to Zonkos!  
  
Sirius: Now spend all your cash  
  
Remus: Welcome to Zonkos!  
  
Sirius: Welcome to the Hippogriff's den!  
  
James: Temptation's on it's way  
  
Remus: Welcome to Zonkos!  
  
Sirius: Y-y-y-y- yes yes Professor you fully understood  
  
James: Fifteen, big boy full pint in my manhood  
  
Remus: I'm up to date what's the date today?  
  
Sirius: So if you want serving you'd better cash up  
  
James: Welcome to Zonkos!  
  
Remus: Now spend all your cash  
  
James: Welcome to the Hippogriff's den!  
  
Remus: Tempteation's on its way  
  
Sirius: Welcome to Zonkos!  
  
Remus: I'm so sorry but we're out of stock  
  
James: Of rubber chickens in this shop  
  
Sirius: Try another, would you like  
  
Remus: A box of fake tattoos?  
  
Sirius: This is a joke shop, not a sweet shop!!!!!  
  
James: That's one galleon please, now clear off  
  
Remus: Comprehend, savvy, understand, do you hear?  
  
James: A pack of party hats, with the coloured tips?  
  
Sirius: You're too late now shop's closed, out, out!  
  
Remus: Well hello Pro, hello Lily, Peter, get your stuff, and be on your way  
  
James: Welcome to Zonkos!  
  
Remus: Now spend all your cash  
  
Sirius: Welcome to Zonkos!  
  
James: Welcome to the Hippogriff's den!  
  
Remus: Temptation's on its way  
  
All: Welcome to Zonkos! 


	5. Paper cut

Paper Cut (Origional version by Linkin Park)  
  
Remus: Why does it feel like night today?  
  
James: Something in here's not right today  
  
Sirius: Why am I so tense today?  
  
Remus: Why all the questions about today?  
  
Sirius: I don't know what stressed me first  
  
James: (Me or him?)  
  
Sirius: Or how the pressure was fed/but  
  
Remus: I know just what it feels like  
  
Sirius: Er ... do you?  
  
James: To have a voice in the back of you head?  
  
Remus: It's like a face that I hold inside,  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time I lie  
A face that laughs every time I fail  
  
James: (Whispering to Sirius with a hand over his mouth.) I think Remus is going mad.  
  
Remus: So that I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is hearing me/ right underneath my skin  
  
Sirius: (Replying to James) You know what? I think he is going mad!  
  
James: It's like i'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
  
Sirius: It's like a whirlpool inside of my skull  
  
James: It's like I can't stop what i'm hearing within  
  
Remus: It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin  
  
Sirius: That guy has a serious problem with faces!  
  
Remus: I know I've got a face in me  
  
James: Points out all my top marks to me1  
  
Remus: You've got a face on the inside too and  
your paranoia's probably worse  
  
Sirius: Ha ha James!!  
  
James: I know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand  
  
Sirius: What's that then?  
  
James: Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is  
  
Sirius: I can't add up like you can!  
  
Remus: But  
  
Sirius: Oh here we go  
  
Remus: Everybody has a face that they hold inside  
A face that awakes when they close their eyes  
A face watches every time they lie  
A face that laughs every time they fail  
  
James: Does it watch every thing?  
  
Remus: So you know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is watching you too  
  
Sirius: Right inside my skin  
  
All: The sun goes down  
We feel the light betray us.  
  
James: Just like Peter betrayed me! Get him Siri!  
  
Sirius: Woof...Grrrrr 


	6. Fast Love

Fast Love (Origionaal version by George Michael)  
  
Sirius: Looking for some Hogwart sanitation  
  
Remus: Found myself howling at the moon  
  
Sirius: All that funky conversation, Remus, can't you read the sign?  
  
James: I don't want any of the details, Lily I don't even wanna waste your time  
  
Remus: Lets just leave it at that  
  
Sirius: Aren't you going to ease my mind?  
  
James: Lily, I aint Mister Right  
  
Remus: But if you're looking for fat slugs  
  
Sirius: Fat slugs in your eyes  
  
Remus: Bad luck  
  
Sirius: But fat slugs is all that I've got on my mind!  
  
James: Looking for some information  
  
Remus: Found myself staring at the moon  
  
Sirius: Marauders got me lately, they're all acting crazy  
  
James: We just want to have some fun  
  
Remus: I don't want any of the details, Moony I don't even want to waste your time  
  
Sirius: Are you going to free my mind?  
  
James: Lily, I aint Mister Right  
  
Remus: But if you're looking for fat slugs  
  
Sirius: Fat slugs in your eyes  
  
Remus: Bad Luck  
  
Sirius: So fat slugs is all that I've got on my mind.  
  
Remus: In the essence of security  
  
James: I made my way into the night  
  
Sirius: Stupid cupid is not a comedian  
  
Remus: I see the loving in the moon  
  
James: I miss my Lily  
  
Sirius: (Men in black)  
  
Remus: (Galaxy defenders)  
  
James: I miss my Lily  
  
Sirius: (Men in black)  
  
Remus: (Galaxy defenders)  
  
James: Gotta get up to get down, gotta get up to get down, gotta get up to get down. 


	7. Time Warp

Time Warp (Rocky Horror Show)  
  
Sirius: It's astounding time is fleeting madness takes its toll, Now listen closely.  
  
James: Not for much longer.  
  
Sirius: I've got to keep control I remember doing the time warp drinking butter beer those moments when the darkness would hit me. And the void it would be calling  
  
Remus: So basically you passed out, is that what you're trying to tell them?  
  
Sirius & James: Shhhhut up!!! And the voices would be calling...  
  
All: Lets do the time warp again, lets do the time warp again.  
  
Remus: It's just a jump to the left.  
  
All: And then a step to the right.  
  
Remus: Put your hands on your hips.  
  
All: And bend your knees in time, it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane Lets do the time warp again, lets do the time warp again.  
  
James: It's just so dreamy A bit like Trelawney's classroom.  
  
Sirius: With a bit of doggy paddle.  
  
Prongs: You're into the time slip.  
  
Sirius: And nothing will ever be the same.  
  
Prongs: It's as fun as transfiguration.  
  
Sirius: LIKE YOU'RE UNDER SEDATION!!!  
  
All: Lets do the time warp again, Lets do the time warp again.  
  
Remus: Its just a step to the left.  
  
All: And then a jump to the right.  
  
Remus: Put your hand on your hips.  
  
All: And bend you knees in time. it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane, lets do the time warp again, lets do the time warp again.  
  
Peter: I was walking down the street, just havin' a think, when this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink. He had herd of Death Eaters and the Devil's eyes I ended up workin' for him and choppin' off my arm, time meant nothin' never would. AHHHHHH!!! (Peter set upon by a big black dog)  
  
All (apart from Peter): Yay for Padfoot!  
  
Remus: And just for him Lets do the time warp again!!  
  
Peter: How's the bunny?  
  
Sirius & Remus: Too warped to mention! 


	8. Bring Me To Life

Bring Me To Life (Origional version by Evanesence)  
  
Prongs: How can you see into my eyes by drinking butterbeer?  
  
Padfoot: Leading you down into Hogsmaede, where I've become a Grim (apparently)  
  
Moony: Without a soul, my patronus sleeping somewhere cold  
  
Prongs: Until you find it there and lead it back home  
  
All: Wake me up outside  
Wake me up outside  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
Bid my blood to run before I come undone  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
Moony: Now that I know I'm late for Charms, you can't just leave me  
  
Padfoot: Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life  
  
All: Wake me up outside  
Wake me up outside  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
Bid my blood to run before I come undone  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
Padfoot: Frozen inside without your touch, without your heart darling  
Only you are the life among the dead  
  
Moony: All this time I can't belive you couldn't see, kept in the dark and I was right  
infront of you  
  
Padfoot: I've been sleeping a million years it seems, got to open my eyes to my new life  
  
Moony: Without a voice, without a thought, without a soul  
  
Padfoot: Don't let me die here  
  
Moony: There must be something more!  
  
All: Bring me to life. 


End file.
